Saturday, December 21, 2013

Tender mercies amongst the whine

Well this semester has been a struggle - too many classes with too many assignments and too many trips to Rochester - I worked my butt off and felt overwhelmed by the amount of work, papers, lesson plans, and reading to be done.  I also discovered that one class I need is only offered in Minneapolis this summer on a Thursday night 6-10PM May-June...yuck...but no class no student teaching in the fall so ...  I even started to question why I was doing this and did I really like teaching in the first place, was this a huge waste of time and money and maybe? .... I have not subbed in my favorite spots as much as I would have liked this semester and I have subbed too many gen ed classes this semester also.  Thursday was my last final and I worked in a middle school class for students needing more structure then is found in a normal school day.  I loved it!!!  I have worked there in the past and Thursday I remembered why I want to teach and why I am working so hard at school.  Hoorah!!!

Here is the point where I really knew the Lord is aware of my struggles-even with all the pleading prayers I was struggling with everything - everything - So Friday morning and I am called to be in the same classroom as Thursday and I love it again - but the tender mercy offered to me that day was multiplied when the director of the program asked me into his office to complement me.  He told me he had been observing me the last two days and was extremely impressed with my performance - he said that he had heard I was excellent in every job I had had, but he hadn't really bought into the praise until he observed my skills himself.  He told me he would love to have me working there when I was finished with school- so please apply when the time comes.  I thanked him and then I thanked the Lord for his words - I needed that so much-I needed to know-again- I wasn't in the wrong place but I was where I needed to be, doing what I needed to be doing - my whole outlook changed and I floated home that afternoon.  Even without the classes I need falling into the time and place I would prefer I know everything is going to work out for the best, I just need to remember these experiences to keep going when the going gets tough.
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