Saturday, August 31, 2013

Happy Birthday GUNNAR!! We love you!!!

As Gunnar's Birthday is today I need to tell you how we miss and love him and know that he is where he is suppose to be at this time in his life.

He is 20 today and that blows my mind away!!!!!










Happy 20th Birthday Gunnar!!!!   We love you very much!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


Happy Birthday David....I couldn't do any of life without you!!!!!!!



Saturday, August 17, 2013

August not my favorite month this year!!

The month started with a bang when I discovered a lump in my left breast, August 2nd.  Luck would have it that I had an appt that day with my doctor and she was concerned, but I wasn't.   I figured it would be gone by the mammogram, August 12th.  It wasn't, but they could not see it only feel it.  SO off to the Ultra Sound which is way more fun when you are looking at a baby..then a lump that looked like a black hole with dust inside.  The radiologist came in to tell me I needed a Mammogram every year because, "This could definitely be cancer."  In my opinion two of those words should not be used in the same sentence and especially when you don't know anything for sure.  He scared me to death at that moment.

They sent me to the parking lot with a appt the next morning at 8AM to see a surgeon and also to the van to cry my eyes out until I could call David to come and get me.  I did not trust myself to drive home.

The next day the surgeon told me all the positives about my lump and then took me, a few hours later, to the ultra sound room to use a needle to poke and aspirate the cyst.  No good it was too hard for the needle to get into and she started to look worried but kept saying ok we will try something else.  Then the big needle came out with the popping head that was to bite off a piece of the lump.  That hurt and the lump kept rolling between my ribs so she couldn't get a piece of it without many painful tries.  Finally they could see on the ultra sound that a piece was missing from the lump...yeah I was about to pass out at that point.

I then went up stairs to see how JT and Zeke's pulmonary tests were going, testing for asthma, had these appts for weeks and didn't want to reschedule.  The nurse saw me and sat me down getting my two warm blankets, she asked what had happened and then told me she had just done the same thing a year ago and was so sorry I had to go through it.  I felt better as the tests progressed and less shocky.  Zeke has mild asthma.  I had them checked because Qatar's snuck up on us.

Well they said to come back for my results on Thursday, August 15th and this was Tuesday, August 13th.  Fear....anxiety...no food I felt sick....no sleep too worried...then Thursday right before we leave for the appt they call saying no results yet come back Friday afternoon......my head about exploded!!!!!!

Finally having made it to Friday, August 16th, the surgeon told me it was a benign fibrous lump and not dangerous at all.  It mimics cancer and many times in the past surgeons have removed the whole breast because of these lumps and then discovered that they are nothing to worry about.....WHEW!!!  I still did not sleep well last night because I kept waking up when the doctor said its not cancer....its not cancer....its not cancer....

Bonnie and I and mom went  out for Mexican food to celebrate...father and son this weekend and poor David looked awful when he left...I hope he got some sleep.  This experience I would not wish on anyone ever and I had good news at the end....how much worse it must be to have bad news instead.

I also need to see the periodontist this week because of two teeth that the gums are receding from....yeah August!!!  I wont be sad to see you go and September come.